Question

Проверьте грамматику и орфографии в моем сочинение. исправьте, если они есть. большое! нужно начать именно с этого предложения "she shut the door and picked up the telephone." she shut the door and picked up the telephone. then she was hearing a familiar voice, but she couldn’t recognize it of the speaker. she continued to listen to the phone and she didn’t interrupt the talking. the woman was standing at the window and suddenly her face began to change. after two minutes she started crying and felt the talker was expressing something terrible. all the story started happening two years ago, when in one day the student of medicine university, whose name was alice, had met a perfect man, whose name was alex. she had fell in love with him, and they were spending much free times for them. after some time, alex needed leaving the city, because his father was ill in america and he had to die soon. the young man promised his sweet before leaving return as soon as possible. she said to him: " when you will in america, you don't forget to phone me. i afraid of losing you." as soon as he had got a ticket, alex began packing the suitcases and arrived on the airport. the airplane started the flying. when the plane had gone some way, it took the accident. many people were injured, but the alex's trauma was fatal, and he died. after this catostrofy the best friend of alex phone to alice, and she almost lost consciousness. she felt alone.

Answer 1

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She shut the door and picked up the telephone. Then she heard a familiar voice, but she couldn’t recognize the speaker. She kept on listening to the phone without interrupting. The woman was standing at the window and suddenly her face began to change. After two minutes she started crying, having understood the talker was expressing something terrible. 
The story began two years ago, when one day the student of Medical university, whose name was Alice, had met a perfect man, whose name was Alex. She had fallen in love with him, and they were spending all of their time together.
After a while, Alex needed to leave the city because of his father's fatal illness in USA. Before leaving the young man promised his darling to return as soon as possible. She answered him: " Don't you forget to call me while being in USA. I am afraid of losing you."
Having got a ticket, Alex began packing the suitcases and arrived on the airport. The plane went to flight. When the plane had flown some way, it went to a catastrophe. Many people had been injured, but the Alex's trauma had been fatal and caused his death. After this catastrophe Alex's best friend had called Alice, and she had almost lost consciousness having heard about his death. She felt lonely.

Answer 2

She shut the door and picked up the telephone. Then she heard a familiar voice, but she couldn’t recognize the speaker. She was listening to the phone and she didn’t interrupt the talker. The woman was standing at the window and suddenly her face began to change. After two minutes she started crying and found out that the talker was expressing something terrible. 
All the story began two years* ago, when one day the student of Medical university, whose name was Alice, had met a perfect man, whose name was Alex. She had fallen in love with him, and they were spending much free time together. 
After some time, Alex had to leave the city, because his father was ill in America and he would die (или: would have to die) soon. Before leaving the young man promised his sweetheart to return as soon as possible. She told him: " When you are in America, don't forget to call me. I am afraid of losing you."
Having got a ticket, Alex  packed the suitcases and arrived at the airport. The airplane* went to flight. When the plane had flown some way, it took the accident. Many people had been injured, but the Alex's trauma had been fatal, and he died. After this catostrofy the best friend of Alex called Alice, and she almost lost consciousness. She felt alone.